decision made

I like it when I can look back and see God at work in a situation. Take PULSE, for example. I found out I was in the program a week before I found out I had a solid job offer. Of course I had already accepted PULSE, since they had a deadline in responding yes/no. So my final decision was easy= I had already accepted PULSE. Would life have been different if I heard back from both the same day? I think so. I would have wrestled with voluntary service and a real job. I would have tormented and felt I let someone down in the end. I would have wondered if I made the right decision.

I feel blessed. I think this was an intentional-God-moment. He simply gave me PULSE, first and by itself. Nothing else on the table. And then He went ahead and showed me what else He could give me if He wanted. But it wasn't meant for me yet, just a promise for the future. A promise to provide more than enough.

So while I waited for the future, the present voluntary service gave me this understanding:

a. The beauty of taking abandoned space and creatively turning it into something worthwhile. (A great metaphor for what God can do in people’s lives.) Imagine what would happen if the city of Pittsburgh only allowed developers to use existing space, since there is so much abandoned space…What does the kingdom of God look like in Pittsburgh?

b. The persistence in understanding city driving, parallel parking, public transportation and navigation.

c. Courage to stand alone on an important project and take leadership/ownership of it.

d. The effectiveness of hearing others’ thoughts. The impact of one persons' story. The strength it takes to keep getting back on your feet when life doesn't give you any hope.

e. The rollercoaster of non-profits – and finding stability where the ‘coaster is currently at.

f. Contentment in living simply

How have you been shaped lately? It doesn’t matter where you are at in life, things are constantly changing and God is constantly moving.
Do you know that?
Do you recognize it?
Did you expect something but didn't receive it till later on? Or are you still waiting?
Reflect on who you are right now.
Know God is bigger.

if grace is an ocean, then we're all sinking

I am convinced the heart of God resides on earth in community.

It was wonderful to take time off and go to a family reunion and the mennonite convention (not one in the same ;) ). My dad's side of the family is pretty sweet because there are so many cousins and everyone wants to stay connected. It has become a gathering that happens every 2yrs now. This year (after my cousins' wedding!) only 60 were able to attend-- and yes, i did say "only". Each and every person has their own story to tell, which is amazing- I love hearing these! The most intriguing conversations were with relatives that do work abroad. It is so enlightening to hear about foreign cultures and how they fit into them. The best was understanding The Word better by hearing about the culture that fits with it. (feel free to message me with more on this)

During the course of the weekend, the annual silent auction happen, volleyball tournments, scrabble, board games, card games, puzzles and mind twisters. There was the talent show (yes, my family has immense talent, no lie), swimming, hiking, and eating. My cousins and I had a wonderful time returning to a waterfall we creek-walked last reunion. Unfortunately there has been a lack of rainfall so the waterfall was unbearably easy to walk up. In other words, there wasn't a waterfall, just a trickle...

Moment to moment:
It was children's time at family worship on the Lost Coin and the adult asks the kids if the coins they are holding are valuable. Kids agree. Adult asks kids whats most valuable to God. One kid exclaims with every enthusiastic bone of their body-- "Money!"

photos to be uploaded on facebook... stay tuned.

The Mennonite Convention was like a reunion in many aspects. As I gathered up materials to represent PULSE and walk through the first door, a movie scene suddenly becomes my life. You know those scenes where one person looks through the crowd and discovers another and they run and embrace? Guys roll their eyes, girls gush. Such a movie. Well, as it turns out I walked in through the first convention doors, turn my head and my eyes fall on my wonderful boyfriend. We caught eyes but there was no running involved. Hm the contentment found after missing seeing someone for a long time...

As the first evening went on, I continued to run into old friends. Church friends, camp friends, college friends, parents of friends, ... It was such a blessing. Being known and having a form of connection is a human desire. we all desire to be understood and known. I even connected with people I didnt know simply by knowing where they were from. "You're from Wooster, Oh? I've been there! I have friends from .. do you know the ... ?" Many people know this as "the Mennonite Game". I think it's because right off the bat, Mennonites intentionally go out of their way to connect. I like this a lot.

The key speaker who brought the message of reconcilliation said the following; most people in the church become polarized because they are either focused on justice or purity. One pursue justice for others at all costs, declaring the Name of Jesus for the victims. The other pursues purity in Christ at all costs, claiming we're straying from what we stand for and lovingly calling out brothers and sisters. Both are needed in the church, but when they collide, it is a brutal thing. the umbrella that most reside above these innate passions must be reconciliation. find a bridge, build a bridge, cross the bridge to the cross.

Moment to moment:
It's like everyone who is a follower of Christ has a string hanging down from heaven that attaches them to God. When they sin, the string is cut. When they ask for forgiveness and healing, God knots the string back together, which makes it just a little bit shorter than it was before. Therefore, sinners are closer to him than saints.

Moment to moment:
As mennonites we do a lot, but don't say a lot. We need to be more bold with our words.


And finally I am reminded of song lyrics. As i struggle with what is the next step in my life, since PULSE ends in three weeks, I am finding myself overwhelmed at times. And then the beautiful song lyrics dance by my sinking spirit:
If grace is an ocean, then we're all sinking.

grace and peace, my friends

sight, davey, and kisses. interested?

recent favorite moment clips:

while out to eat with my blind friend, a drink was placed in front of her by the cashier. i told her where it was at and as she stretched out her hand to find it, she promptly proclaimed, "oh, i see it".

my uncle dave has one set of neices/nephews who have a true problem- all of their uncles are named Dave. Uncle Dave, Uncle David, and Uncle Davey, as my dear uncle Dave has been fondly named. Isn't everyone's uncle named dave?

according to the wedding photographer at my cousins' wedding, the groom's kiss was a 'peck'. after missing the first official marriage kiss, the photographer "made" them kiss several more times for the camera


oh goodness, thinking back on this weekend, all i can do is smile! there is something innately right about community, especially within the family. i was blessed not only hanging out with them, but also hearing stories from them -- most especially about how they were when they were my age... and the laughs aren't far from over--> next weekend, destination family reunion!

productive friday! - what?

I have this weird thing about me... I like to organize. I usually like to be self-motivated and have flexibility to get it done. So when I have a bunch of projects that are not that extensive but focus around organizing, you can usually find me smiling.

A look at my great day at work, a productive one! (mind you, most of this had background music to it too)

)) Updated/ reorganized / redesigned my own paperwork spreadsheet for a project (actually this was not self-initiated, but really enjoyed the end result)

)) Followed-up on phone calls

)) Designed paperwork for another office

)) Did timesheet

)) Finished co-worker's clinic paperwork

)) Organized co-worker’s residential paperwork

)) Organized and distributed 1410 office paperwork

)) Created new document for discrepancy in paperwork*

)) Kept up on two email accounts

)) Caught up with research supervisor

)) Hung signs*

)) Took a lunch and read a book

)) Wrote a blog!***

*refers to still in progress items but will be done by 4
***in progress but technically done by the time I hit "publish post" .. and "edit" a few times

so it sounds like I do a lot of other people's organizing... that's because I do. Everyone knows I'm good at it and don't mind it. I also know the people who are just so busy that they simply need the extra help. plus, I'm an intern, it's my job, right? ok, so back to being productive! thanks for reading the randomness!

something to imagine

close your eyes ----wait. i guess you'd have to read the directions first.---

ok. i want you to close your eyes AND picture the room you're in- every detail. see what you can remember and what stands out. (now close your eyes)

------------------------------

Maybe you took a while to do this, maybe you took two seconds- it really doesn't matter. I am guessing you saw a few objects in your minds eye. You probably even remember certain wording and color that stands out around the room.

I've been contemplating what it would be like to never know color. Can you even imagine that? Seriously, can you? It's pretty difficult.

I started working for a blind lady, just helping her with housework here in the city. She is super sweet, so we tend to talk a lot. The other day she wanted to pick some things up at Rite Aid, and afterwards proceeded to beg for a Wendy's frosty (I mean what would you do?!- of course get the frosty!). So as we made our way to Wendy's, we proceeded to chat. After commenting on how much she enjoys the smoothness of the truck ride, I tell her I actually just bought a car. Of course I proceed into saying it is sage and -- "sage?" she asks. Yeah, it's like a dark mint green, I reply. "Well I've never actually seen colors, but I've imagined mint green, so sage must be just as pretty"

*blinking*
it never occurred to me she had NEVER seen colors.
what is a world without colors?
how do you imagine colors?
how do you describe colors to someone who cannot see?
what is she actually imagining-- cuz in all honesty it could be our form of orange!

I am just flabbergasted trying to comprehend this thought. To live in a world where you imagine colors and what things look like. Is it doctor seuss - ish or does God give an ability to image what actually exists?

Of course I made another mistake hereafter of asking her if she remembers station wagons. Now granted, perhaps she'd remember riding in one, but silly me couldn't remember the name of them so I was fumbling around saying "oh whats the word... it's like a small minivan... shorter in height...). Stopping myself in my tracks, I remembered for the second time in 10 minutes that she cannot see and probably never saw one-- good assumption, I'd say.

So I take a lot for granted, but I'm assuming we all do. Don't forget the little blessings, like being able to see color. But at the same time, don't forget the blessing of imagining-- it's also quite a gift.

money? psh.

so it's kinda a funny story, but i up and bought a new car... and i still havent even driven it yet. you know it's a God-thing when your plan for buying a used car suddenly changes to spontaneously buying a new car for $500 more than originally planned. how in the world does this happen, you may ask? well like i said, it's a God-thing. A random series of events, including a severe storm and word of mouth conversations, got me here. Needless to say, the car had to be picked up by my parents and i still havent driven it yet, lol.

this weekend i was blessed by an old and dear friend visiting me. as the weekend went on, we realized we hadnt truly had quality time in a long time. it is easy to forget this whenever time constraints allow only the "what's new" conversations. thus, it was great to dive deeper. (so what does this have to do with money?) oh, and it was a festival weekend in pittsburgh!! yesterday amber and i went yard sale shopping after church all around my neighborhood and enjoyed street vendor food! funny, her yard sale purchases were less than what her lunch cost. as for me, i got three side tables, a large and small set of new dishes, 2 picture frames, and a george foreman grill.. grand totaling $28 and one sunburn. first one of the year! (i dont know why i am excited about that... ouch.)

diving deeper

here i am, once again. have you ever had those mornings when you wake up and have some of your deepest thoughts? some of you are probably thinking i'm crazy right now, that the groggiest time is obviously in the morning... but for reals, after that first hump over i'm-so-tired-i-can't-believe-i-must-get-up, do you have really thought-filled moments? the past two mornings have been like that for me-- and believe me, i've been really tired and not wanting to get up at first!

i was really bothered by our whole reaction to the death of saddam hussein. it saddens me that we chear someone has died. "well he was evil" is not a good enough reason. he was a person, no matter what we know about what he did-- deep down he could have been you or i. Romans 3 tells us "there is no difference between Jew and Gentile, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus. God presented Christ as a sacrifice of atonement, through the shedding of his blood—to be received by faith." As Christ followers, we are to see through the evil in people, love them, and preach the good news. i think this is why the death penalty still bothers me. sure, we can try to inflict punishment to bring order, but to condemn people to death-- what gives us that authority? what gives us the authority to say they no longer have a chance to be saved by God's divine grace? In "The Shack" by William Young, the God-figure gives the main character a chance to give ultimate judgement on a man and the main character finds, despite all he desires to do so, he cannot. Such a powerful moment, pick up the book if you haven't yet.

which brings me to another point- people's interpretation on things. Even though the Shack was published under the genre of fiction, i am not afraid to admit i think it actually happened. it could have been placed in the fiction sector so that people were more apt to read it and be challenged by it. This is my take on it. on the other hand, i do not believe the da vinci code has truth and is truly a work fiction as it is classified as. but as i see, some people's take on it could be like my take on the Shack (not per se the same, the story is obviously a novel, but the facts/thoughts/theories woven into it). interesting how that happens, how we can contradict ourselves with our take on things (but we do nonetheless).

one last stance. i am really bothered by the new marshall's ads. Marshall's is a clothing retail store that proclaims designer clothes for cheap prices. their recent tv campaign ads end with "so affordable, you can still shop and not go hungry" -- or something like that. As a person who works with the homeless, I am offended. this nonchalant phrase was obviously written by someone who has NO understanding of what it means to go hungry and be homeless.

and on a pittsburgh news ring, this story happened right after i left giant eagle the other day::
http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/11137/1147204-100.stm?cmpid=latest.xml&utm_source=twitterfeed&utm_medium=twitter