excerpts of a book, my life

The Soloist - excerpts

Yes, it is exhausting work, Mollie concedes one day when we sit in her backyard, several miles from Skid Row. But, she assures me, there are rewards. “There’s some equality in the relationship. A lot of people think social work is just  giving, giving, giving, but it’s not. There’s far more getting. The simple appreciation people had for the smallest things we did for them always amazed me.” p48

Let me tell you, most people are not far off from thinking this profession is just giving, giving, giving. But I give because it is needed. If more people gave, less giving would be needed from me. This is how I see it anyways. I give because I can. I feel uncomfortable when people congradulate me for what I do. It's not really noble, it's a reflection that our society is broken and nobody is doing anything about it! (ok, that's obviously an exaggeration, but I really think this every time people give me that "aww" look for my job). I give because people exist. I think so many people just need someone to acknowledge their pain and support them. Being able to support them is an honor and I feel privilege when those people come back and thank me for being there.


Why {do I} have to be bothered with any of this, Nathaniel asks, when {I} keep insisting {I} prefer to live outside and sleep in the tunnel? p136

I am willing to bet most people will be startled by this statement. As my time has developed, I am more and more aware of people who don't mind living on the fringes. Sometimes it is much easier to not be attached. These people are called chronic homeless, and they may or may not accept help. They are people who don't see themselves as homeless, but as nomads. Now they won't call themselves that, but they will definitely look at you silly when you push and push for them to get off the streets. They are the people who you will try your hardest for and disappear when you think you got something made for them.


Nathaniel will probably never be happy on my terms or by my definition, but maybe that’s my problem rather than his. Does he have a big fat mortgage hanging over his head ... ? I make good money for a newspaper guy and we live very nicely, but the crazy California real estate market eats a big chunk of my take home ... Nathaniel doesn't have to worry … Nathaniel is 100 percent off the books. No social secuirtity card, no driver's license, no address, no living will, no job, no lawn to mow, no phone call to return, no retirement to plan for and no rules except his own. p138

This truly emphasizes what I was leading to in the last excerpt. We as a society hold an expectation of life, when there are many cultures that exist. I first learned this when I worked with welfare clients a few years back. There are very distinct lines of culture when it comes to lower, middle, and upper class society, for example. These lines are prominent in just how we think (but many other ways too). I cannot hold expectations for someone until I understand what they want, otherwise it is my expectations and those are most likely influenced by how my class of upbringing taught me.

To better understand, when I first took this job I was instructed on motivation interviewing, which has a lot more to do with listening to the client and reflecting what they have to say than anything else. It's a very humbling training that allows the client to know what is best for them, because we all believe we know what is best for ourselves. By allowing them to talk, we step out of our prejudaces and position of power, and allow ourselves to hear the client and their needs. In some cases, the client may not know what is best, but if they are not in serious danger to themselves or others, there is nothing one can do to change their mind so we might as well meet them where they are at.


Hopefully this has given you a little more insight on the population I work with daily. It definitely has reshaped my people skills, my perception on "the homeless", and how I view my "skills" and purpose. If you haven't read the book "The Soloist", I would highly recommend it with full knowledge that it accurately depics a mental health homeless person in our society today.